Mother's Day Almost Here!

I know I've been bad about posting. Not much new around the house other than continuing to miss the kids. Phone calls should be coming in tomorrow for Mother's Day. Can't wait to hear their voices. Here's a little song that makes me think of Taeg and Erin.

Happy Mother's Day Everybody!

Our Crazy World

    So, emails are coming regularly from both kids on their "Preparation Day," and we've received a couple of letters from Taegan too. I've posted a couple of Guatemala MTC pictures for Patrick (on his page), but haven't received any from Taegan. Her Mission President, however, sent us a letter letting us know she had arrived safely in Canada. There was a scanned picture of her, the Mission President, and his wife. Both kids are having the best time they've ever had (Hey, wait a second?!)

    Anyhow, day by day we are all adjusting to the new sense of normalcy. We put the smaller table in the kitchen, only need four seats in the van, and reduced the number of schedules to track (OK, Kerri does that for all of us). The ache doesn't hurt as much and the hole not as big in my heart. Bring on the summer.

    Lastly, we've had crazy days recently with the bombings at the Boston Marathon, ricin letters to government officials, and a huge explosion at a fertilizer factory in Texas. I can't help but wonder if there's more in store. Have had a heavy heart here and there contemplating the senselessness of people's actions. I'm thankful that I have so much to be grateful for though, and a Heavenly Father that understands the big picture; especially when I don't.

Isaiah 41:10   Fear thou not; for I [am] with thee: be not dismayed; for I [am] thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee...

Called on a Mission

 

Seat at the End of the Table

    So, with two kids gone and two left at home, we're all working to recreate our humble and loving home life. Who will take which additional chores, who needs to drive who (where and when), new rooms to move into, empty space to clean up, and the remnants of two kids stuff to move into storage. Mostly sad stuff; just ask the kids taking on additional chores and cleaning. However, there are happy moments.

    When we eat dinner or any other meal together as a family, there is a certain precedence on who sits where. The biggest bone of contention is the seat at the end of the table, which I have reserved for the eldest child in the house. No Bar or Bah Mitzvah, Debutante Ball, Jugendweihe, Okuyi, or Russ for this family -- our rites of passage entail the movement from the bench to a chair at the end of the table. A symbol of increased age, responsibility, and prestige. Erin now sits happily upon her new throne glad, in this way, for her two elder siblings departure.

    Additionally, since we don't have the two older kids around to run herd on the two younger, it's more important that we be able to reach the two youngest by phone; hence, they each have basic phones and are still grinning ear to ear. I know I'm going to hear about this later. For Taegan, we wouldn't allow a phone until sixteen, Pat got his phone at fifteen, and now Sean and Erin have phones at fourteen and thirteen. I know we as parents have been unjustly cruel in the eyes of our eldest daughter, but there was some method to our madness.

    Most days I'm fine. I go about my normal routine and only occasionally miss Taeg and Pat. It's like having a small cut on your hand that you don't notice too much, until something acidic is applied. Then you remember the cut because of the burning and pain you're experiencing. When I go about my day and expect to see those two, and then don't, I feel it. When I get an email or letter I'm overjoyed, but as soon as I start to read I can feel a welling up inside. We received letters from Taegan and another letter/email from Pat. I'll probably share snippets here and there, but for now I'm cherishing and hoarding them for myself.

    So, that's it for now. We're just adjusting to the seat at the end of the table.

Guatemala MTC March 2013

(Pat is under the second window from the left)

Resilience

    YAY! Email from Taegan this afternoon. What a great way to end the day. Her email was great to read, and read, and read, and read to Erin, and read to Sean, and read again. Take a moment and go to her page and read it -- I posted it immediately. There was an "economy of words" driving home from work reading it with my sweet wife. OK, now that we've all read it I'd like to make a comment.

    My biggest fear of Taegan going on a mission: None. My sweet girl is tough. She's tough and strong. She's really strong. No, she's super strong. She's a super hero. A universal heroine. A Master of the Universe -- no that's He-man. OK, you get my drift. You read her post, right? She said she was scared about going. This is what I want to talk about because it's been on my mind.

    As a parent I feel it necessary to take away any discomfort, pain, or uncertainty my kids might endure. I don't, but it is an undeniable force I have to fight against. There is benefit in letting kids stretch, grow, and test boundaries. Of course, I sometimes have to put my foot down and say absolutely not because it really can't be any other way due to spiritual or temporal safety, but this also helps children grow. You must establish rules and consequences so they know the lanes in which they must operate. This allows them to feel secure enough to try new things. However, there are times they fail, and that's OK too.

    I can hear Pat saying, " You did that just to prove I was wrong." Yes, and no! I use it as a tool, not a stick. Yes, because I want them to get into the habit of seeking and recognizing wise counsel. No, because I don't want to hurt or belittle them because they chose a wrong course of action. I've heard them say to one another, when they thought I wasn't around, "Dad and Mom were right." Now I know I could only get them to repeat those lines under the severest form of torture, but even when I don't hear it, I know they're thinking it. Why, because I see them seek advice from adults they respect, act on that advice, and become more resilient in the face of adversity.

    Taegan was scared, but she went. She knew it was what she wanted to do even though it would have been easier to call us and say, "Come get me, I can't do it." So, my angst over the fear, anxiety, and pain my little ones might be experiencing was occupying my every thought. I know, trust in God brother (man, even Pat told me he was in the best hands possible). Then, sitting on the couch one afternoon worrying, I picked up our Church magazine (called the Ensign) and opened to an article. Blessing # 3: Raising Resilient Children, by Lyle J. Burrup. This article answered many questions that had been going through my mind; Did I teach them well enough? Have I made them feel strong enough? Will they feel our great love for them even when apart?

    Quote from the article: "Another mark of resilience is to see great purpose and meaning in life and people. A sense of purpose will help our children avoid giving up, in spite of setbacks and pressure to do so. If our children are becoming more resilient, they will develop deep values that guide them: charity, virtue, integrity, honesty, work ethic, and faith in God. They will involve themselves in what is happening around them and opt for commitment to values rather than feel alienated and avoid struggle. The gospel teaches and reinforces these values and perceptions." Yes, they were ready to meet this challenge.

    Then I received Taegan's email from the MTC and this was confirmed again.

    Love my kids and miss them desperately! They are heroes to me.

93 Million Miles

    So all-in-all things are going well despite the kids being away. Not much to say today because I'm still tired from a night shift last night. So, everyone sit back, relax and listen to this song that my parents sent to me (because they know me so well).

    Still no word on Taegan -- I'm thinking maybe her "Preparation day" this coming week we should hear something, if not in the mail sooner. I know she's hoping to still be around the MTC in Provo for Conference. If so, maybe we'll see her in the MTC choir. If not, she'll be attending in the Great White North, eh!

    Oh, everyone feel free to send letters to the kids. I'll put addresses up tonight. Thanks, enjoy the music!

p.s. - Blessing #2; my car insurance went down by more than half, dropping the kids. What?! Really, more than half? "Sweet Norma, goddess of personal conveyance (auto insurance agent), you are Ahhh-mazing!

Be Still My Soul

    Well, they say that blessings are given to the families of those serving missionaries. I can currently account for one. To say I went to my knees after the kids left is no exaggeration -- I prayed hard for their safety and comfort. Mostly, I thought about how our Heavenly Father sacrificed His only Son.

    I recognize some of what He went through, but I also know it had to have been so much deeper, because He knew His Son would experience unimaginable pain. Jesus underwent pain in the Garden of Gethsemane that is incomprehensible to us. Then He was subject to mock and scorn, and finally the physical pain of crucifixion and spiritual loneliness during the time His Father withdrew. As a parent I would want to come down and tear some Roman and Jewish butt up, but God knew the plan and the strength of His Son to accomplish it.

    This sacrifice was to pay for our sins, our physical pains and ailments, and the pain that others experience when our sins reach further than our own hearts and minds. The blessing I received was a peace and assurance that I am following Heavenly Father's plan, that my son and daughter know the plan, and that they are also strong enough to accomplish their parts. My favorite Hymn.

Be Still my Soul by Catharina von Schlegel

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.

Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, believing, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.